Blog from the Middle Spectrum #2

Blog from the Middle Spectrum #2

This blog is going to be a bit different than the last. You all know me well now. So I think it’s time to take a step forward with this blogging relationship we have. I am speaking to the people out there who either knows someone who has a ‘handicap’, autism, or on the Middle Spectrum. So listen close, today I plan on teaching you something.

Below is a list of grievances from all the Middle Specters out there like me. These are things people do that I HATE when it comes to being diagnosed as autistic or having Asperger’s. I mean, if you really want to tick me off, do anything on the list below and you will have an angry crazy chick on your hands. So, let’s start the list:

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1. Don’t call us “special”

This always drives me insane. Does no one get that calling someone ‘special’ in a certain way is a put down now? If you’re a teenager then you know about this put down. It goes like this:

Person 1- “I know, I’m special!”

Person 2- “Yeah, special ED!”

That is an insult. Whenever I’m called special I think of this. And calling someone special is like you’re trying to cover up for something wrong. Saying that someone is ‘special’ after saying they have a mental problem is like you’re trying to makeup for them having the problem in the first place. It just sounds wrong and rude. Don’t do it.

But if you feel like you absolutely have to compliment someone about his or her mental problem, then say something like “She’s just wonderfully different!” Or, “He’s a very uniquely awesome boy.” Be creative if you have to, just don’t use the S word!

2. Don’t lump all of us autistic people in the same category (this goes for ANY ‘disability’)

No, I am not like Raymond from Rain Man, and can do math well. In fact, I SUCK at math. Just because we’re autistic, doesn’t mean we have super powers or have an extremely high intelligence. Those people are called autistic savants, and even they too should be treated like an individual and with respect. Just because you’re a boy, that doesn’t mean you like baseball. Don’t think like that when it comes to people with different types of mental abilities. We all have different cases. Not one person is like the other; so don’t automatically assume that I have the ability to do something just because I’m autistic. That’s just dumb.

3. Don’t talk about us like we’re robots

How would you like it if someone said you were ‘high functioning’ or ‘low functioning’? That term ‘function’ is too broad of a word to use when it comes to talking about how a person lives or thinks. Autistic people maybe able to do well with one task, but maybe not so well with another. In my opinion you have to sit down and talk about, in detail, what your child can or cannot do when it comes to speaking with teachers or people they will be around. If not, how is this person going to be able to know where they need to start when it comes to the treatment of this child? But look, the point is, don’t say that we’re ‘functioning’ in a certain way. I am not a machine, and I do not work all the time at a certain level. I do my own thing to the best of my capabilities, whatever they are.

4. Never say never

You have no right to tell a person with mental abilities that they can’t achieve their dreams. If they have a special talent and the drive to perfect it, then by God, support them. When I was in fourth grade I could barely spell, at all. Period. Now I am writing poems, stories, lyrics, and this blog. You never know what can happen in a person’s life, so don’t limit them. Believe in them, because they look to you and believe in you.

5. Don’t group Middle Spectrum kids in Emotional and Logical thinking categories

I make decisions based on emotion… with logic behind them. If I want to fulfill myself and my dreams I have to make good choices to achieve that emotional gratification. I have to do things the right way and be a good person, so in return, goodness and kindness comes back to me. It took SIXTEEN YEARS for anyone I knew to understand this. Everyone always though I was a logical thinker, because of how I made my decisions and what I did. No one understood that emotion was involved. They thought I saw everything in black and white, not in color. No one got that I saw the color picture first, and then focused on the black and whiteness. Just weeks ago a close friend of mine said, “Erin, I don’t care what people say about you being a logical thinker. From what I’ve seen, I think you’re an emotional thinker.” I was so thankful when he said that. Because I was lumped into a ‘logical category’ some people around me didn’t understand that I could feel too. My friend finally got that. Yes, I make logical decisions, but the reasons (and sometimes reasoning) are based off of emotion. Do not tell a Middle Spectrum Kid how they think. Only they know, and you have no way of getting into their heads and figuring them out. They think in their own way, so stop trying to figure out a name for it, and start enjoying the person who they are.

6. Don’t force any of us to read a self-help book or go into a counseling group

When I say the above statement I’m speaking mostly to the people who know or have kids of the Middle Spectrum. All cases are different, as I have said before. Forcing us to go into a counseling group to try to ‘relate to one another’ doesn’t help. Everyone deals with things in different ways. If you’re child wants to go into the group, by all means, let them. But some kids like me, who don’t feel that it would benefit them, simply don’t want to be a part of all that hype. So don’t make us go! Also don’t force us to read about other autistic people if we don’t want to. If we show an interest, yes, get that biography we want. But sometimes we get burned out on the topic of autism. We have to LIVE with the diagnosis everyday, so trust me; we get sick of hearing or talking about it. Parents don’t throw your child a book or toss them into a group unwillingly. I know you mean well, but wait till they approach you.

7. To Parents of the Middle Spectrum: DON’T SAY WE’RE AUTISTIC RIGHT AWAY TO PEOPLE WHO FIRST MEET US

I understand it's sometimes necessary, I get that. But when it's not, don't tell complete strangers we're autistic! Most people cannot tell I’m autistic. I hide my ‘symptoms’ pretty well, and the people who I first meet usually find me a ‘delightfully fun’ person because of my quirks. I’m a fresh of breath air to elderly because I actually know who older singers and actors are, like Frank Sinatra and Cary Grant. They think I’m just a young girl who appreciates the oldies, not some crazy person who has an obsession with old things. And in truth, I am just a young girl who appreciates the older, finer things. That’s why I hate it when a friend or family member says that I’m autistic, after I’ve been talking to a stranger for only a few minutes. Why do you do that?! If we seem normal to a person, let us seem normal! It’s embarrassing for kids like me to have someone tell a stranger a most secret part of us. If we want to tell someone we’re autistic, we will do it in our own sweet time. I have friends that didn’t know for two years. I didn't tell them because I wanted them to know me for me, not the diagnosis I have. So please, unless your child wants you to, don’t tell a complete stranger we’re autistic! Once more it's embarrassing, and even though you mean well, kind of rude.